Written by – Cheruto Magut
Men! Men! Men! First of all, I love you so much, and I mean it. But, sometimes, you guys just arouse madness, drama, and, most of all, you make us want to switch sides. So I came up with four things you guys need to change immediately to be more attractive and a turn on to your women. Read them carefully, implement them, and watch as you quickly transform into a seductive king.
Master The Dating Game: The Offer, The Split, and The Treat
First of all, when a woman says, “Let’s go out,” she means, “we are going out, and I’m paying.” So please don’t bring your chauvinistic behind insisting that you want to pay, it’s not cute.
When she says, “I want to go out,” she basically means, “I would like to go out, and you or I will pay the bill.” In this case, it is either-or; we are not going dutch. One of us has to be the one treating the other.
When she says, “take me out,” that’s straight-up, “I want to go out with you, and you are taking care of everything. I mean everything—Uber or Wasili for Eldoret and Nakuru folks, drinks, tickets, and all.
Ask Don’t Tell
Second, your sense of entitlement. You are her man, not her father. So you don’t get to treat her like you own her.
Do you want me to cook? Here’s how you ask; “Hi dear, do you mind cooking for me, I’ll really appreciate it.” Si hii ujinga yenu ya “babe, utanipikia lini?’ cook for who?
When you want something, you ask. Even your brother St. Mattew, the evangelist wrote in the holy book-; Ask and it shall be given unto you.
But, if you want to order around, find a servant, or get a daughter. This is a romantic relationship; we are equal partners, ask, and consult. You don’t get to make decisions that affect us both by yourself.
Tone Down the Macho Man Attitude
Third, don’t flex your masculinity on us. Don’t take me out and start shouting at the attendants, waiters, or anyone for that matter.
\Trust me, we will yell at you there and then. That is not attractive; you’re just advertising your stupidity. Ati “do you know who I am, unajua credit yangu ni salo yako ya 3 months, do you know me,” yes idiot, I know you’re the stupid guy who just got dumped.
Make Sure You’re Always Up To Snuff
One last thing, small things that make you look bad. Have bad breath? Sweetheart, nunua P.K kindly, it’s only 5 shillings. Cracked lips, buy the pocket size Vaseline, it’s only 25 bob.
Again, I love you so much. Ciao!